Are you in the Friend Zone?
Saturday, August 26, 2017
You meet a guy you really like.
You are hanging out all the time,. Lots of laughter. Its fun! You start believing there are possibilities for love.
Then he tells you- he only wants you …as a friend
You have been put into the FRIEND ZONE.
The thoughts start circling in your head, as this has happened more than once. Maybe *so* much you wonder if you ever can have a real boyfriend.
What is going on?
Why doesn't he like you "like that"?
First, you want to ask yourself:
Are you acting more like a sister than someone who is interested in more?
Are you afraid of flirting, showing your sensual, sexual side?
Have you told him that you don't want a boyfriend right now?
What I see happen with alot of women, especially straight women - is that they are used to men wanting only ONE thing from them: SEX.
So, they reject it before he gets any "thoughts", and guess what happens? Friend zone.
This isn't your fault or his.
It is actually a GOOD thing he wants to have sex with you. Who doesnt want to be wanted? But where it gets tricky is feeling like he ONLY wants you for sex. Ugh.
Are there men out there who only want you for sex? of course!
Are there men out there who want sex AND a deep relationship? Absolutely.
So what can YOU do about it?
So how do you attract the ment who want both? And will respect the amount of time you need to feel safe enough to connect in a sexual way?
You need to look at YOUR perspective on sex.
The questions to ask yourself:
- What is so bad about them wanting sex ?
- What if it was OK for them to want sex?
- What if it was OK for YOU to want sex?
- Are you afraid if you don't "put out", they will leave?
- Why do you believe they will leave if you DO "put out"?
And, more importantly, looking at the flip side:
What kind of guys WILL wait for sex?
If a guy doesn't want sex, do you feel he is too feminine, not a manly man?
Do you start to feel unwanted, insecure that he is going to leave you because he doesn't want sex right away?
I see this all the time. Women unconsciously push away men who want MORE than sex because they find them too feminine, they feel insecure that they don't want them that way, they get scared they HAVE been put in the friend zone and that their boyfriend will leave them.... It is easier to reject men altogether than share yourself, and open yourself up to have him share himself, truthfully, emotionally.
So if you want to attract men who want both, you have to start to look at your relationship with sex, and sexuality, and stop giving it so much power, and start putting it in its right place. Then, you can attract someone who wants you sexually, and wants YOU for YOU.
